Cambodia's king was many things, including an early advocate of marriage equality
October 18, 2012
By Will O'Bryan
Metro Weekly
Monday, Oct. 15, was Cambodian ''King-Father'' Norodom Sihanouk's last
day on this mortal plain. It's okay, don't be sad. He was 89, after all.
His life was also full, to say the least, though not necessarily
unblemished. Some consider him a collaborator to the Khmer Rouge
genocide, which included some of his children as victims. It might well
have included him. Others regarded him as a pointless playboy. Seems he
did like a good time.
Generally, I have a distaste for royalty. I'm not one to tune in for
jubilees, coronations or royal weddings. I'm an American. I believe in
democracy. I'm reflexively suspicious of anything handed down by
familial ties, whether it's a seat on the board or a royal title.
Cambodia, however, has a little spot wedged into my worldview. When I
was a child, my Army dad would return from Southeast Asia with stories
of Cambodia. He'd done time in Vietnam in the early 1970s, too, but
mostly spoke of Cambodia. He brought me these fantastical papier-mâché
masks of ghastly Cambodian characters. When I was older, he told me
about a Cambodian woman who was essentially his concubine, minus the
Madame Butterfly romanticism. He guesses that when the Khmer Rouge came
to power, she would've been executed if for no other reason than her
association with him. Of course, when possibly a third of a country is
killed – whether by execution, hunger or being worked to death –
nobody's chances are very good.
When I was older still, my father having gone the way of his Cambodian
girlfriend, a close friend began doing fieldwork in human rights and
rule of law in Phnom Penh. She collected so many frequent flier miles on
these long Cambodia trips she was able to bring her sister and me to
join her for a week in Thailand in 2000. Though Cambodia beckoned across
the border, I didn't make it that far. I instead explored Cambodia
through some books, particularly When Broken Glass Floats, in which
Chanrithy Him recounts surviving the Cambodian Holocaust.
In 2004, I crossed paths with Cambodia in a new way. It was then that
Sihanouk came out publicly in favor of marriage equality. Maybe not such
a big deal for a king of a small and poor country, a figurehead with no
formal power. It was an endorsement that caught my attention
nonetheless. In 2004, marriage equality was hardly as common as it is
today. It was watching the front lines of the marriage fight – in
particular, San Francisco issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples,
later voided by the California Supreme Court – that prompted Sihanouk's
advocacy. He was not pestered to take a stand. He was hardly on the
world stage at the time. He wasn't even in Cambodia, but getting medical
attention in China. But spending his life adapting to unusual
circumstances, in the 21st century he'd adapted to the Web and was a
busy blogger. So that's where he announced his support for equality.
With this rare and welcome expression putting Cambodia in front of me
once again, I felt compelled to send an email to cyber-savvy King
Sihanouk thanking him. I was surprised to receive an email response –
complete with signature image – a few days later.
''It was very kind of you to send me a warm message of appreciation and
greetings following my declaration of support for same sex marriages,''
the king wrote. ''With my sincere thanks and best wishes for happiness,
please accept the assurance of my cordial consideration.''
He signed it, ''Sincerely, Norodom Sihanouk, King of Cambodia; Beijing, February 27, 2004.''
Sihanouk may be remembered. Maybe not. Even in Cambodia, it seems he'd
already become a sort of relic, revered by the old, but irrelevant to
the young. But I'll always remember my royal correspondence and the king
who learned at least by his last years to stand on the right side of
history.
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