On a 100-degree day a summer or two ago, Elizabeth Pha accidentally locked herself out of the north Stockton home she shares with her parents. Her father, John, suggested she wait in the garage for someone to come home and let her in.
Time passed, and as Pha waited, the battery died on her cell phone. John Pha, working in Livermore, tried calling again. When he couldn't reach her, he grew frantic with worry.
Soon, there was a knock on the garage door.
"Open up, open up," the voice said. "We're the police, Stockton police."
The concerned father had called the police, who made sure his daughter was safe and all right.
It's easy to understand why her parents are so protective.
They long ago assimilated to the homeland they escaped to after a desperate flight 30 years ago from the murderous Khmer Rouge. Elizabeth Pha even sang her way to the second round of the Fox talent show "American Idol" in 2005.
But the memories the Pha family (pronounced "Pa") carried from Cambodia remain fresh and painful.
And they also carry the memories of the Cleveland School playground 20 years ago. Elizabeth was there Jan. 17, 1989, and saw a boy, 9-year-old Rathanar Or, killed in front of her.
Elizabeth was physically unharmed, but these are memories that affect the way the Pha family lives.
"I just feel like the world is not a safe place," said Elizabeth Pha, now 27. "Every time I walk out of the house, I put on this big, heavy armor of protection, because I may never know when a stray bullet may come and hit me. That's how I feel as an adult today. It's painful, you know?"
Pha's mother, Erica, added, "We have a bad memory from the past."
Essence of family
This is a family that watches out for one another. When Erica Pha was diagnosed with cancer in 2007, Elizabeth Pha moved home from Southern California to take care of her mother. So did her 29-year-old brother, Henry.
But the protectiveness of parents to children sometimes was overwhelming.
"I always check all my kids' school all the time when they attended high school or elementary school," said 53-year-old Erica Pha, who has been cured of her cancer.
Out of love and understanding, Elizabeth Pha repressed her rebelliousness during her years at Stagg High School.
"But inside, I was, like, 'Get me out of here. I'm struggling. I need my freedom,'" she said. "It was like fighting a war of independence."
References to war are not made idly in this family.
Elizabeth Pha was 1 when her parents escaped with her from Cambodia. They were detained several times by the Khmer Rouge during a 300-mile walk through the jungle that took five weeks. Erica Pha was sick with malaria, but somehow they reached a refugee camp in Thailand.
"I almost gave up the journey," said Erica Pha, who lost her mother and two brothers to the Khmer Rouge genocide along with perhaps 50 members of her extended family. "I was so tired. I did not have much energy to carry (Elizabeth) sometimes. My husband took her from me. I fell down all the time. We could not see well at nighttime. My husband just held my hand. 'Please, keep going, keep going, we will be fine.' ... We almost got killed so many times."
They made it to the United States in 1984, living at first in suburban Seattle.
They later left Seattle for Stockton, hearing about the large resettlement of Cambodians here.
Americanization continues
They had finally found a home, Elizabeth Pha said. Her father considered the United States utopia because of the opportunity it provides.
But that peace was shattered by the Cleveland shootings. Elizabeth Pha was playing tag with her friends when the horror began. She said she knew all the children who died that day, and she saw Rathanar fall right in front of her. She ran inside. A teacher told her to get under a desk.
"Jesus, Jesus, please help, please make the guns stop, please," she prayed. The shooting stopped.
Nightmares ruled her sleep in the weeks that followed. But she said the glimpse she got of Michael Jackson when he visited Stockton a few weeks after the shootings was "soothing."
A year passed. The Phas became citizens in 1990. They took American names. Chandara (it means "the moon and the stars") became Elizabeth. Erica bashfully declined to reveal her Cambodian name.
In 1991, the Phas continued their assimilation. They converted from Buddhism to Christianity. They attend St. John's Episcopal Church in Stockton.
Family members are driven to give expression to all they have endured.
Elizabeth and Henry are helping their parents with a manuscript that recounts the family's escape from Cambodia. They hope to get it published.
Elizabeth Pha's memories of Michael Jackson remain as powerful as ever 20 years later. Though she did not reach the finals of "American Idol," she continues to pursue a career in music. She writes her own songs and has self-recorded a CD of her music. She has yet to write a song about the Cleveland shootings, but thoughts of that day still weigh heavily.
"I just feel not a lot of people understand it," she said. "I almost feel like I'm alone in my suffering. I've been down for a while. Resilience is my only survival. I go up, but I can't see the light. I keep going back down. I'm trying to get past it."
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