Back from Battle

By: Kim Johnson

kjohnson@wdio.com

Two weeks ago a plane touched down in Duluth. It carried a man returning from a long and life-changing journey.
"It's been one of the most positive things I've ever done in my life," said Scott Cameron.
Scott Cameron, a Vietnam War Veteran, has survived Vietnam a second time. "It was a pretty heavy experience," he said.
It was last November when we first told you about Scott going back to the land he left 39 years ago. He said he had to, to overcome his guilt and heal himself. "I have to go back there for my own piece of mind," he said before leaving.
Scott was an infantry man during the war. One day in 1968, he was nearly killed when a bullet passed through his spine and stopped in his lung.
He has lived with nightmares and flashbacks of the terrifying day. The only way to find peace, he said, was to go back. "I'm hoping to be able to leave some of the nightmares behind," he said.
The Vietnam he found was not the place he had left. "I had the conception that I was going to walk into the Asia that I remember 39 years ago, it's not," he said.
The population has exploded, more development, industry and mopeds.
But the country's old scars were not hard to find.
"This was a battle site where hundreds and hundreds of people died and there is nothing left but bullet holes," he said in his camcorder. "You can see the death, you can see the bullet holes, the shrapnel."
With his camcorder, Scott set out to find remnants of the war. "I'm at one of the few remaining bunkers behind me,"he said. "Pretty erie feeling thinking about how many guys died here."
He traveled north and for the first time, crossed into what had been enemy territory, visiting infamous places such as the Hanoi Hilton where U.S. POWs were held and the Ho Chi Min Trail. "I've never been this far north," he said.
It was down in the Vietcong tunnels where Scott's memories caught up with him. Even in the confined space his flashbacks found room.
"To be honest, I got to get the hell out of here," he said. "I'm getting real paranoid and I'm getting real claustrophobic."
Ironically, Scott had found what he wanted, a chance to face his fears head on. "This is really doing a lot of triggers for this guy, this old Vietnam vet," he said.
Though at times unbearable, Scott confronted more places that had haunted him. One of the most painful? Where he was hospitalized after being shot. "It's abandoned, there's graffiti everywhere, I left a lot of blood here," he said.
But his most trying moment may have been a return to the jungle where his life changed in a flash. The very place he was shot. "I'm really depressed today, trying to decide how I'm going to do this," he said.
Ironically, it would be his former enemies--Vietcong vets who help him with a place to spend the night. Scott was surprised by their hospitality and kindness. "I was able to get to know these people and see they are not angry with me, and I expected just the opposite," Scott said.
In fact, he sensed little animosity from any Vietnamese. "They have total forgiveness," he said. "I felt a real kinship with them."
Their forgiveness, help Scott forgive himself. "It helped me deal with my guilt issues for one," he said. "I have been torturing myself with the guilt and to be honest you don't see that over there."
Simple yet profound--it is clear to Scott what has happened.
"They have moved on," he said.
Seeing Vietnam had moved on, Scott realized it was time for him to do the same.
"I heard so many times 'we have moved on, we move ahead, we are not looking behind anymore,'" he said. "They'd rather talk about the future instead of the past and that really made sense to me."
But before he moved ahead, Scott needed to pay respect to those he'll never forget, his fallen comrades. "I burned incense, I said a few prayers," he said. "I saluted them and I said goodbye."
Determined to act on his newfound peace and clarity, Scott moved on to Cambodia, another country ravaged by the war. "There is more poverty in Cambodia by far than any other place," he said.
Wanting to make an impact, he opened his own wallet and paid for two water wells for a small village. "This is our first well we've put in and this is our first family we've been able to help," he said in his camcorder.
"It kind of lit a fire in me to do more," he said.
He also paid for a year's worth of English lessons for a Cambodian man he befriended. The more good Scott gave of himself, the more bad he was able to leave behind.
As his six month journey began to wind down--Scott felt he accomplished what he set out to do. "It's been an awesome trip, I've met a lot of good people and I put a lot of ghosts where they belong," he said.
So last month, Scott waved goodbye to Asia and said goodbye to a past that he says no longer haunts him. "I've been able to personally put this back now cause I've been reliving this and reliving this for so long," he said.
Now back in Duluth, Scott says he'll never truly get rid of all of his anxiety about the war. But his journey has helped him heal. "I can look at something now that used to be a trigger and I can put it in a positive life in my own mind," he said.
Scott says his past will always be a part of him, but it will no longer define his future. "It's like it has turned another page in my life, another chapter, and I'm very excited," he said.
Scott plans to go back to Vietnam in the fall. During his next trip, he hopes to build a school in a Cambodian village.
If you would like to donate to help Scott accomplish his humanitarian work in Cambodia and Vietnam, log on to www.coalitioncasualties.net