The Dart: An eyewitness to Cambodian history

Stamford man dealt with controversial leader during stint with U.N. 

By Eve Sullivan 
http://www.stamfordadvocate.com
Published Sunday, February 10, 2013 
Read original article here.

Benny Widyono and his wife, Francisca, display a photograph of themselves on their wedding day, 50 years ago, at their home in Stamford on Monday, Feb. 4, 2013. Photo: Jason Rearick | Buy This Photo

STAMFORD -- When thousands of people lined the streets of Cambodia recently for the lavish funeral of King Norodom Sihanouk, Stamford resident Benny Widyono was among them.

Sihanouk was carried from the royal palace in Phnom Penh, the country's capital, to an ornate funeral pyre in a city park aboard a giant golden float. The half-mile trip, accompanied by several chariots, took three hours. Mourners knelt, prayed, lit candles and laid flowers as the procession passed.

"His whole funeral cost $5 million," said Widyono, a former United Nations ambassador, who had been friends with the controversial monarch for several years.

Sihanouk died Oct. 15, two weeks shy of his 90th birthday. His embalmed body lay in state for more than three months in Phnom Penh before the Feb. 1 service. The body remained in the park until Feb. 4, when it was cremated in a private ceremony.

On Monday afternoon, Widyono was napping at his home on Vineyard Lane, fighting off jet lag from the 22-hour flight home. But he quickly arose to discuss the funeral.

Widyono brought out an article, published that day in the Asia Times, which discussed his long-time friendship with Sihanouk. It is titled, "The King and I."

Sihanouk, who was first crowned by the French in 1941, served twice as king, twice as sovereign prince, once as president and twice as prime minister, in addition to various government-in-exile posts. He was criticized for becoming friendly with the homicidal Khmer Rouge regime, which forced migration and rampant genocide, taking almost 2 million lives.

Widyono said he was sent there in 1992 as a peacekeeper with the United Nations Transitional Authority in Cambodia. On their first encounter, Widyono said he met Sihanouk in New York City.

"He would hold lavish parties in the Helmsley (hotel) and he loved to sing. He would sing `Tea for Two' by Doris Day," he said.

The second time, they met at the Angkor Temples in Cambodia, where Sihanouk called him the "second prince of Java," which is the Indonesian city where he's from.

The third time, Widyono said he had dinner with Sihanouk, his sixth wife and members of the Khmer Rouge.

"They were normal people, but of course, they killed 2 million people," he said.

After that dinner, Widyono said the people decided to keep Sihanouk as king and he returned to the country as the UN's political representative to the new government. They would continue to forge a friendship through politics and social gatherings.

While Widyono enjoys talking about the king, he also perks up talking about his wife, Francisca, whom he met in college in their native Indonesia. They have traveled the world and just celebrated 50 years of marriage.

"I didn't realize, it went so fast," Widyono said.

After the couple met in college, Benny went to graduate school in Texas and Francisca went to study in Germany. While separated by continents, he proposed to her in a letter.

"Then when I finished, I came two weeks before the wedding," Francisca said. "I came by boat, it took five days."

Before leaving Europe, Francisca bought her wedding dress in France, calling it "short and very simple." Benny said the wedding was also simple, with chips, soda and about 150 guests.

In the beginning, they lived in student subsidized housing for $25 a week. They later moved to Stamford and Benny took a job with the United Nations.

Until his appointment with UNTAC, Benny said he dealt primarily with economic and social issues in the UN offices in Bangkok, Geneva, Santiago and New York.

When Benny took the job overseas, Francisca went with him. Their four children, who were raised in Stamford, were already in college by then.

Their home is decorated with furniture and artwork from all over the world, including a giant picture and two statues from Bali. When pointing out two carved, wooden chairs in the living room, Francisca said, "That's called an elephant chair from Thailand, because the king and queen would travel on elephants."

Benny also wrote a book, "Dancing in the Shadows," about his time working in Cambodia. In the preface, he says his five years working in Cambodia were the highlight of his career.

Coming from neighboring Indonesia, Benny says he hopes to offer a fresh perspective. "These memoirs are unique in that I tell my own story and offer personal reflections on events that I witnessed first-hand," he writes in the book.