A Change of Guard

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Wednesday, 30 December 2009

Meet the three Cuckoo-for-Cocoa Puffs Bachelorettes

Miss Channy, The first Cambodian-born Bachelorette.


Are you ready for the season premiere of The Bachelor next week? If you haven’t heard, Jake Pavelka, the pilot from this summer’s Bachelorette, is the next Bachelor. He will get the opportunity to choose from 25 bachelorettes and hope to find happiness “On The Wings of Love,” which was once the subtitle of the show but I believe has been canned by the network. It was found guilty by a public jury of cheesiness and desperation, and was sentenced to life in media prison with no chance of parole.

Anyway, all the bachelorette suitors have been announced but I’d like to focus on the three “crazy” ones who are rumoured to stir things up.

Zap2it has the inside scoop on the three “crazies” (their words, not mine) and it looks like there’s lots to look forward to in the first episode. First up is Kristen, a 25-year-old waitress from Aurora, Colorado. What’s her deal? Violence! Apparently this chick mentions violence three times within her first three minutes of screen time. Not only does she tell Jake that she wanted to slap Jillian for letting him go, she tells the camera that she’ll do whatever it takes to win, even “cut a bitch.” YES.

Next up is Channy, a 29-year-old mortgage loan officer from Santa Rosa, California. Channy’s deal? She’s a brazen Cambodian who will use every sexual double-entendre in the book to land her man. Apparently when she first meets Jake, she says something to him in Cambodian, enticing him into a second meeting to find out what it means. Kinda cute, I guess. Except, when Jake later approaches her for the translation, she says, “You can land your plane on my landing strip anytime!” YOWZA.

And finally there’s Michelle, a 26-year-old office manager from Anaheim, California. Michelle’s vibe seems to be a bit on the desperate side. Why? Apparently she fires up the intensity right out of the gate, telling Jake that she’s ready for a husband and kids and has “so much to give emotionally.” Spoiler alert: Jillian and Ed make an appearance on the first show and warn Jake that Michelle is nutso and that he should send her home.

Will you be watching Monday? Sadly, I think I will too.

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